Darth Reed

Now that I have a place to put my quasi-technical babble over at MSDN, the space is reserved for me to spew my political bile and enjoy all things sci-fi. Heh.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

New DSM V Disorder Classification: California Residency

SACRAMENTO, CA - Although California Residency is technically defined in the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual V as a subclassification of non-trivial, age-indiscriminate dementia, this new addition to the dementia family of disorders is exemplified by the following frightening occurrence (as reported by Reuters): California may ban conventional lightbulbs by 2012.

What I want to know is why... Because they cost less than the new-fangled fluorescent bulbs? Because the light they produce isn't a funny color? Because the Sun is going to melt us all (we hope) before we collectively admit that humans don't cause "global warming"?

Somebody call in an air strike!

Friday, January 26, 2007

From the WTF file... Chinese boy kill hundreds of chickens by... screaming?

I normally take court rulings from other countries, especially communist ones, with a grain of salt, but when there is actual research on the subject (see Improbable Research : Pathology: voice of doom)? I mean, just because some of our Supreme Court justices think that it's appropriate to cite foreign law to settle domestic constitutional disputes doesn't make it OK (to me), but when the World's Poultry Science Journal (I kid you not!) has done a study about the frequencies of sound which cause internal organ damage to broiler chickens? Well, then the matter must be settled, right?

WTF, people. The only thing saving my sanity is that the research was done in Scotland. We (meaning my ancient Irish ancestors) sold those bagpipes to the Scots as a joke and they still don't get it... so maybe they need to do a bit more research on the subject of hazardous sound vibrations. (Hint: the Irish pipes have a much more mellow, pleasing sound than the scalded cats used in Scotland.)

This case has got to strike fear into the hearts of KFC employees everywhere. With screaming three year old children being kicked off of airplanes, who knows where unspanked, wailing children will show up next? (Clue: properly spanked children cannot scream... they're in too much pain to do more than sob. See Bill Cosby "Himself" or Russell Peters "Outsourced" for relevant details.) Maybe California is right to ban parents from spanking their children. It's the California parents (and legislators) who need the spankin'!!

Strike now!